


Bloom in Snow

by signalbeam



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Adolescence, Community: badbadbathhouse, Elemental Affinity, Fire and Ice, Friendship, Gen, Jealousy, Pre-Canon, idk my bff jill?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-17
Updated: 2010-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/signalbeam/pseuds/signalbeam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Future Careers” the heading blares, merrily oblivious to the agony it imparts to the survey-takers. Chie Satonaka and theories on self-improvement. Pre-game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloom in Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the badbadbathhouse prompt: _why do the team have the elemental affliations they do?_
> 
> Title from Vienna Teng's "The Tower."

At the age of twelve, Chie decides that her legs are too short to do kung fu, and the best way to fix that is to run until they grow longer. It’s kind of silly (okay, so _she’s_ kind of silly) but it’s working, kind of. She’s five centimeters taller than she was when she was eleven, and she’s pretty sure all of it’s gone to her legs. Still, she’s not that tall, and the doctor was all, “Oh, that’s probably as tall as you’ll get” the last time Chie went to see him. She’s still pissed about that. She doesn’t want to be short, but it’s not height that matters in a fight, it’s stuff like honor and how cool you are under pressure and skills and stuff like that.

She runs every morning to clear her head, and used to run in the afternoons until her lungs burned and legs shook. She doesn’t anymore because she’s not going to get any taller, and endurance is great and stuff, but power and speed’s totally the way to go for kung fu. Plus, running is boring. She’s good at it, but she runs alone, and she can’t do anything except think about how to beat up bullies.

She likes beating up bullies. It’s fun, people thank her for it later, and she’s good at it. She likes to pretend that she does it for justice, but she’s really doing it because she wants people to tell her that she’s doing the right thing and that she’s doing a good job, the way a dog might guard a house in exchange for pettings and a bowl of food everyday and a place to sleep at night. It’s not complicated and it’s not particularly special, and sometimes she feels like quitting, but she can’t. She gets mad when people are being jerks now because it’s just _wrong_ , not because it’s a nice opportunity.

 

\---

 

To help them decide which high school they should apply for, the school’s guidance counselor recommends that they all fill out a survey. One of the questions is a plain heading with three lines right under it. “Future Careers” the heading blares, merrily oblivious to the agony it imparts to the survey-takers.

Chie doesn’t know what she wants to be. Her grades are kind of average and embarrassing, but good enough to let her go to college or something like. She doesn’t know what she wants to study, except she definitely doesn’t want to study math. Or science. Or English.

All she knows is that she wants to be strong, but it’s not going to fly with the counselor. She writes down “don’t know,” “not sure,” and “detective lawyer assistant thing,” because she’s not sure what else to do.

The counselor calls her to the office and gives her a lecture about the values of taking her future seriously. “You need to think like Yukiko Amagi,” the counselor tells Chie, never mind that Amagi’s entire future’s an open secret, so it doesn’t matter what Amagi puts there because her future’s secure, anyway.

It’s not the first time that Chie’s been compared to Amagi. Chie’s never even talked to the girl more than once or twice to borrow this or that, but Chie’s already sure she hates Amagi. She knows that Amagi’s one of those put-together girls who strings guys along and acts all oblivious when they get mad at her, which makes her kind of a bitch, only without the ‘kind of’. It’d be easy to leave it off there, except she can’t bring herself to actively dislike Amagi. Amagi’s nothing but sweet and nice to Chie. She can’t think Amagi’s a bitch without feeling guilty and like she’s jumping to conclusions. Amagi, as it would turn out, really is that oblivious to the people around her. Chie suspects that people like Amagi so much because she’s both pretty and nice, even if she’s an airhead. Too bad she’s a smart airhead, too, because Chie really wants a reason to feel like she’s better than Amagi. Instead, Chie throws herself into a fit of raging jealousy and admiration.

The more she finds out about Amagi, the more she likes Amagi, even if Amagi can’t remember her name half the time. She wants to be closer to Amagi, but she doesn’t know how. She settles for alternating between wanting to be Amagi’s friend and wanting to make her disappear off the face of the planet.

Later on, when Chie becomes more of a prince and less of a jealous little snit, she’ll say that she took the dog in because she wanted to make Yukiko smile. It’s true, but it’s only part of the story. A part of her wanted to latch onto Yukiko so tightly that they’ll never be separated. It works out for the best, but that doesn’t make it okay.

 

\---

 

Chie becomes Yukiko’s protector to solidify the bond between them, and then because she worries so much about Yukiko that she can’t stand it sometimes. Yukiko’s absentminded in really dumb, strange ways, and sometimes Yukiko doesn’t _get_ that the things she does makes other people agitated or put off. Chie shows off her strength first because she wants to prove to Yukiko that she can beat Yukiko in some things that aren’t being able to tell when people are creeps (that needs to be a default skill, _seriously_ ), and then because she realizes her strength can be used to protect and defend, not just to make her look like an inflated she-beast.

She picks up running again. The first time she starts her afternoon runs again, she runs from her house to the Inn, and ends up throwing up into the toilet and crashing on a couch for almost two hours. The entire Inn calls her “Yuki-chan’s friend who has fainting spells, oh my” for almost an entire season. It’s so stupid that Chie wants to die inside. She doesn’t want to be seen as weaker than Yukiko, no way. She’s the one who’s supposed to be protecting Yukiko and taking care of her, not the other way around.

After all, there’s no story where the princess walks out of the dragon’s lair by herself. And even if there were, Yukiko’s not that girl.

 

\---

 

It’s a little lame, but Chie thinks Yukiko’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her. When Chie looks back on the person she was, she’s kind of embarrassed. She can see where the seeds of her new self come from, but the aimless, dumb kid she was doesn’t really seem _like_ her. At the age of sixteen, Chie’s going to make a really, really awesome defender of justice if she says so herself, but she wouldn’t have trusted her twelve year old self with doing anything more than fending off an angry dog with a stick.

Her Persona is what she expects, sort of. Awesome Bruce Lee inspired costume, badass moves, rad name, everything. Except for the element, ice. So doesn’t work. Ice and yellow? Doesn’t make any sense. Chie would rather be fire, because that’s what’s natural, right? She’s a hero, and heroes are fiery and hotheaded and stuff, and she’s _totally_ all of that. Casting spells feels seriously weird, like something’s building up, crystal by crystal, inside her, and then—it’s kind of weird to describe. Kind of like… a giant ice laser or something.

Well, whatever. She has her kicks, and that’s what’s important. Souji mainly tells her to hit things really hard, sometimes stopping her to ice stuff when he’s not carrying an ice Persona. Mostly, she kicks, and that’s _awesome_. She always knew those moves would come in handy.

It makes sense when she’s facing Yukiko’s giant chandelier bird Shadow. Fire and ice. Yukiko’s so much a part of Chie and so much of Chie is based around not being Yukiko, so it’s only natural that they end up pushing each other onto the opposite ends of the spectrum. And besides, Yukiko’s steely and has a will of iron. Yukiko’s strong and commanding and one day will be the leader of something for sure, where Chie’s probably going to be taking orders for the rest of her life. So yeah, it makes sense that Yukiko’s fire and Chie’s ice.

She’s jealous, though, that she couldn’t have an element because of something she did instead of something Yukiko is.

 

\---

 

It’s been, what, four? five? years since Chie looked into a mirror and thought, “Why can’t I grow taller?!” She still goes running, an hour in the morning with the dog, and however long she can run in the evening. When it’s summer vacation, she decides to get serious. Twelve kilometers at _least_ , she decides. The path from her house to Yukiko’s is about four kilometers long, and from school to home is maybe a kilometer, and from the Inn to school is about six kilometers, so she’ll run to school and then to the Inn and then back home and then back to the Inn. And she wants to do it fast, none of that lame jogging stuff. She has to get stronger, for Yukiko. And for herself. And for Inaba.

The order of things feels a little wrong, but it’s what’s right for Chie. She’s not going to question it too much.

It’s hot and summer and she’s running in the middle of day and forgot to take her water bottle—she realizes this a kilometer in, which is—okay, she feels dumb, but she’s not going to stop until she reaches the Inn. She’s going to become strong for Yukiko because Yukiko’s given her more than friendship and a dopey, chubby dog. Yukiko’s given her a purpose and a goal and helped shape Chie’s sense of justice and ethics and virtue. If Chie’s the Chariot, then, well, Yukiko’s not the princess Chie’s trying to save. Yukiko is the princess who’s leading the army to war, and Chie’s the knight guarding the gates, there to make sure nothing happens; nothing at all.

 

\---

 

Chie turns up at the Inn at something between a cross between a jog and a very languid run, dripping sweat everywhere. It looks almost like she jumped into the Samegawa, Yukiko thinks, alarmed.

“Did you run all the way here?” Yukiko asks, quickly grabbing the glass of water (half full with ice, just the way Chie likes it) she prepared when Chie told Yukiko she’d be coming on foot and shoving it to Chie’s lips.

“Yeah,” Chie croaks, her eyes bright. It might be a bad sign. Yukiko doesn’t know. Chie gulps down the entire glass too quickly, and ends up coughing water up her nose. Yukiko lends Chie her shoulder, and rubs circles into Chie’s back through the shirts and sweat. It’s a little gross, but it’s Chie, and it’s better than some of the stranger things Chie’s done. (Dive into a rosebush to find their dog, jump into the Samegawa to catch fish with her bare hands, jump out of a window to prove she was brave—come to think of it, many of Chie’s mishaps seem to involve jumping into or out of things, including their more recent occupation of TV-diving.) She leads Chie to the family kitchen, and forces Chie to sit down.

“You should watch out for yourself better,” she tells Chie, pouring three glasses of water and setting them in front of Chie. “You can’t run so far in this kind of weather. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Yeah,” Chie says, still looking a little dazed. Her face is a funny splotchy red, and her eyes are so wide that Yukiko’s honestly worried that Chie might be suffering from heat stroke. Chie can barely hold a glass of water without her hands shaking, and she’s still breathing hard, but she looks so happy about something that Yukiko can’t bring herself to say anything. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Chie?” Yukiko reaches out to check Chie’s temperature, only to have Chie grab her hand.

“I get it now,” Chie says. “Why I’m ice. Because ice is a crystal, and first water needs a shape and I don’t know, sometimes—I guess I was kind of shapeless without you, but now that I have you—”

Chie runs out of breath, gives a few restless, exhausted pants, and then slumps over onto the table.

“Chie!”

“’m okay, just a little tired.”

Yukiko, at loss, pours the two remaining glasses of water over Chie’s head.

 

\---

 

Okay, so the grand revelation doesn’t sound nearly as impressive as Chie meant it to sound. It’s okay, though. Yukiko tells her that fires have to depend on someone to fuel them, so that’s why she was destined to always be bound to Inaba, and then says that talking about the TV World like this makes her feel a little silly, and closes the conversation by making Chie take a shower.

Yukiko walks home with Chie, maybe to make sure that Chie’s not going to do another crazy sprint. Chie’s not going to. She figures she can run from her house to the Inn at a nice pace, just as long as she runs at a different time of day and carries maybe a liter of water or so with her. An entire liter of water, huh, she thinks, smiling at the thought. It can be like weight training.

Chie’s going to do something awesome with her life, now that she knows what her life’s going to look like and now that she knows what she’s supposed to do. She’s going to—she doesn’t know, she’s going to become a teacher or a role model or a paralegal or a lawyer or a judge or _something_ like that. She’s going to lay down the law and she’s going to be strong, stronger than ice because ice isn’t like water. Ice is brittle and breaks and cracks. So what if she has a few cracks here and there? She can survive that. She’s been around fire for so long that all the worst parts of her are melting and freezing again into something better than that; something that’s her at her best. And one day, she’ll be a real hero, a real prince, and something that will make a difference to the people around her.

For now, she’s happy being herself in transition, caught in between two worlds.


End file.
